I'm a person who is very into plans.
I like to know exactly what is going on, and what will happen after.
Well, as everyone knows, things don't always go as planned.
In fact, they rarely ever go as planned.
So what happens to me when my plans don't work out?
I turn into a major anxiety stress case.
Here's how my life has been planned so far:
Go to Butler Elementary school
Go to Butler Middle School
Go to Brighton High School & hair school at the same time
Graduate from high school and hair school and move to USU
Graduate from USU, get married and find a job.
I guess I never really thought passed that part.
And now that's where I'm at in my life.
In December I'm going to graduate from USU.
I've got some big decisions to make in my life.
JOB:
Do I want to be a resource teacher or a general ed teacher?
If I want to work in the resource room I could for sure find a job and start right up in January. But, I don't know if that's what I really want to do.
I'm not sure if I could find a general ed teaching job right away.
I could do substituting or tutoring though?
And to be honest, some days I go to teach and wonder if teaching is really what I want to do the rest of my life. It's hard. It's really hard.
MISSION:
Most of you reading this have probably heard that I have been thinking about going on a mission. The plan for me was always that I finish school first, then go. So, I took summer classes and everything so that I could perfectly time when I went on a mission. Now that the decision is so close I can't decide what I want. I'm definatly leaning more towards one way, but well, I just don't know. I know that either way things are going to work out and it wouldn't be a mistake to go or to not go. That's what is making it so much harder of a decision. I've also found that the more people's advice I get in this area, the more confused I get. So I've stopped asking everyone and have ignored the situation entirely.
WHERE DO I LIVE?
All I know right now is that I don't want to be living in Logan. That's not my choice though, so my next question is where do I live when I move back to Salt Lake? I don't want to live in my basement but none of my friends are moving into an apartment.
GRAD SCHOOL:
Anything that I would want to do requires a 3 year teaching experience before I can even get accepted. So this will have to wait for a while.
These may seem like small little things to you dear reader, but to me they are not. And they are things that i'm sort of freaking out about. It also doesn't help that I get on facebook and blogger and read about everyone else's lives and how they are moving on and getting married and getting pregnant and going on missions and none of these things seem to cause anyone else massive stress amounts except me.
6 comments:
Wow, I have always known we could be good friends! I can totally identify with this post. I am such a planner too, and, like you, when I can't plan for events in life I really can't handle it.
Not that I can tell you what to do, but I can say that if I find a crystal globe I will be happy to share it with you!
I think you will be a great teacher, and speaking from experience it is as rewarding as it is difficult. I also think you wouldn't have problem finding a job as a general Ed teacher, I know that it is harder now than at other times, but you would be just fine!
I also think you should move to Salt Lake, heck you can live in my basement if you want!
As for all your other questions I can't comment, but, you have a whole life to figure them out! You are the best!
ahhh, I love you Lauren!!!! Wow - life sucks sometimes, eh?! I am like you in that I want to know what is going to happen next and want clear cut easy decisions, but life does not really cooperate all the time. Take me for example ... I had it all planned out, and it's nothing like that now. I wish I had some great advice for you, or some awesome insight - but all I can say is hang in there! You are darling, talented, fun and an amazing person that will do fabulous in whatever it is you decide to do! Good luck in all your decision, it's very overwhelming to choose between several good things! And if worse comes to worse you can sleep in Maggie's bunk bed and be captain of the sneaker team, since she is probably your BIGGEST fan! But we all love you and are cheering you on!
"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity ...."
-Gilda Radner
My word verification to post this is "litersi" - that is a sign you should be a reading specialist ;)
(is that any indication I have been reading text books all afternoon?! ugh!)
Ok first...life never works out the way you want, trust me! And I know how it is reading blogs and wanting to live how someone else does, but just remember that NO ONE writes the whole truth on their blog! Everyone has trials, decisions and hardships that no one knows about. You will be great no matter what you do! Hang in there and know that He has a plan for you and that it will all work out in the end!
Oh, am I a "Dear Reader"!? Hope so! Lauren, you are so the best! I think everyone feels this way sometimes...even once you're married and think life is a smooth sailing of already-made-decisions. It even becomes worse once you have kids, because the decisions you make are affecting THEIR lives. Aaaaaahhhh! Being at a crossroads is always stressful, though. I know you will make the right decisions for you. I noticed at least three talks this conference about personal revelation. Study those if you need help hearing what Heavenly Father is trying to tell you. You're a gem and I know you will make the right decisions. Remember always to be happy no matter what's going on in your life. I find myself sometimes wishing away certain times, then when I look back, I realize how good they really were! Good luck and keep all your "Dear Readers" posted on what you decide to do!! P.S. I have a basement apartment...if my renters give me a hint of moving you're in!! Hahahaha--how fun would 24/7 Sneaker Team be!?
I love you!! I was just thinking about you the other day :) I always think that we talk lots because you comment on my blog... but then I realized that I NEVER comment on yours!! Just know that I am reading it and staying up to date on your life. I miss you lots and hope you are doing well - if you ever need to chat don't hesitate to call!! Ah... the Wentworth days.
girl . have you read my blog? i got unhired.
so now all my decisions that depended on that money situation are nowwwwwwwwwwww confusing.
i love you. one day we'll look back on our lives and thse times and life at the things that we just didn't know how they were going to turn out..
but, they do.
you'll be okay! (you better be, b/c that's what i keep telling myself.)
loves
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