Hotel Rwanda

Rwanda- There was once genocide there. That may be all the information that others know about this country.

What do I know about Rwanda? I know that of the ten different countries I’ve traveled to, it’s on my list of most beautiful countries in the world. I know that it was once a country filled with hate and anguish. I know that as I left that country I felt like there was a part of me that changed.

Last night I watched the Movie Hotel Rwanda with some friends for the first time. Having seen and experienced firsthand made the movie even more meaningful. As I lay watching it, sobbing my eyes out, I felt many of the same feelings I felt as I visited the country to learn of their past. I thought about how sad it is that I can watch this movie and then when it’s over turn it off, walk away, and I don’t have to think about it anymore- how easy it is for me, but not so easy for the people whose reality this was/is. I don’t have to worry about being hurt or even picked on for the color of my skin or the tribe that I’m from. Thinking all this made me realize that Rwanda was what I wanted to write about for this week’s Africa post.

As I was spending my time in Rwanda I couldn’t help but look at the people surrounding me and wonder, “What was their part in the genocide? Did they lose family members? Friends? Did they do their best to help others, or were they some that kept that hate going? Were they almost killed, or did they participate in the killing?”

First, we visited the Kigali memorial centre. It's purpose is to pay recognition to those who lost their lives, but also to educate others so that they are aware of what a genocide is, where they have taken place, and how to prevent them from happening in the future. While there I learned more about a genocide then I have ever learned about them in my life. There was a section dedicated to the children in Rwanda who died. It had a few facts about their lives: what they liked to do, how old they were, where they were from. Then it showed a picture of them and had how they died and what their last words were. It was devastating to see.

Then we went to the Mill Colline Hotel. We were able to hear the story of a man who lived in the Hotel the entire time. His wife had their first son in the hotel.

While we were in Rwanda we drove about four hours to see a school where a major event happened. It went a little like this: In 1994 when the Tutsi’s needed help, they called upon their government. The government promised them help if they could just gather themselves together at this school. What they really had in mind, however, was to starve the people for two weeks so that they were so weak they couldn’t fight back, and then come in and kill all of them. That’s exactly what they did too. Of the many many people that were there, only three survived. I was able to meet two of them.

As I walked from room to room in the school where so many lives had been taken, just looking at the remains, I had a million thoughts running through my head. No longer was Rwanda that one place where the movie Hotel Rwanda was filmed. All of a sudden it was a place where many INNOCENT lives had been taken. It was a place where anger once ruled the hearts of many.

As I looked at the preserved bodies with the pearl necklace or ring, or t-shirt still on them I wondered what that person felt like as he/she was kept in the room to starve. I wondered what their life was like before the genocide, what happened to their family, what kinds of things did they like to do? I felt a deep sadness in me, one that is impossible to describe. I felt a mixture of shock, fear, sadness, confusion, anger, love, patriotism, gratefulness, and hope. Shock: that something so terrible could happen. That so many people could be so consumed with hatred that they would do something like that. Fear: that something like that can/may happen again. Sadness: for all the lives torn apart and destroyed. Confusion: as to where all that hatred came from. Anger: for the amount of devastation these people caused. For the lack of help that the people of Rwanda received from the rest of the world. Love: for the people of Rwanda who gave their lives to save others. For the people in my life whom I know will not betray my trust. Patriotism: for my country. For the place that I am fortunate enough to be able to live in. For the presidents who care for our country. For the people who fight for our country. For the protection we receive. Gratefulness: for the life I am able to lead. Hope: for the future.

As I heard the personal testimonies from two of the survivors, I felt a small amount of their sadness and pain. I looked at the dent in the man’s head from the bullet wound and wondered what his life was like right now. I wondered if he thought of the genocide every single day of his life. I wondered if he still had nightmares about it. I wondered if he could or had ever learned to forgive the people that hurt him. I wondered if I would be able to forgive those people, had the same thing happened to me.

Like so many other times in Africa I was humbled. I learned another one of those, “your life is not so bad” lessons.